In hope of another revolution!

So, here it comes again, the date 23rd March, a watershed moment in the history of Indian independence movement. 81 years ago, on this very day, our three brave brothers Bhagat Singh, Rajguru, and Sukhdev sacrificed their lives for a cause much bigger than themselves, the cause of AZAAD HINDUSTAN (independent India).

Being brought up and immensely influenced by my grandfather who lived through that era, Indian freedom struggle is something that isn't a mere historic bullshit to me. History isn't a mere boring subject which has to be crammed up just for the heck of it.

Through eyes of my grandfather, I envisioned both the traumatic as well as triumphant scenes of independence movement. Strange as it may sound, I still feel the echoes left by the famous slogan 'Inquilab Zindabad' or ' Long Live Revolution' or cries of those who died in vain in 'Jalliawallah Bagh massacre'.

And today, it makes me cranky to see of what all is left of 'Azaad Hindustan' we carved out for ourselves. We haven't only molested but brutally raped this country of ours and torn it into pieces. Let me support these strong words by some strong facts. 

1. Growth rate of Agriculture sector is 3%, sector which employs 2/3rd working population
2. Farmers suicide in India between 1997 and 2007 stands at a staggering 182,936 
3. 48% children in India malnourished, ranking 2nd in the world
4. Female Sex Ratio - 914 females /1000 males, lowest since Independence and one of the lowest in the world 
5. Ranked at 134th position in Human Development Index (HDI)
6. Black money in India - "Size of India's underground economy is approximately US$640 billion at the end of 2008 or roughly 50% of the nation's GDP.

These not-so-proud statistics are not mere facts to be whisked away as "kuch nahi ho sakta iss desh ka". The true tribute to our martyrs isn't merely uploading FB statuses or Bhagat Singh's pictures or even blog writing like I'm doing. With 65% population below 35 years of age, time is perhaps ripe for young Indians to take charge of another revolution in India. The only difference being that this time it is our own fellow Indians that we will be fighting against. 

Let me end by quoting the meaning of revolution from brother Bhagat Singh himself.

“‘Revolution’ does not necessarily involve sanguinary strife nor is there any place in it for individual vendetta. It is not the cult of the bomb and the pistol.  By ‘Revolution’ we mean that the present order of things, which is based on manifest injustice, must change."

- Bhagat Singh

Love of my life my BAUJI

“Love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone” Mitch Albom

The quote brought to my mind beautiful memories. Memories of a man whose presence completed my whole existence; a man who taught me essential lessons of life in my early childhood; a man who ignited the flame of patriotism in me; a man whose words I used to note down in my dairy; a man who became the master of his own destiny. Life honoured me by bringing such a wonderful, graceful, generous, forever smiling, beautiful soul to me in the form of a grandfather whom we lovingly called ‘Bauji’. There are some people who are blessed with good looks, there are some others who are blessed with wisdom; there are still others who are bestowed with humility. And the amalgamation of these three qualities- beauty, wisdom and humility is what I call my Bauji. He was the living example of how to live life to the fullest without regrets.

Today when I want to write so much about him, the words are not coming out. It happens when we lose touch with ourselves. It happens when the life shows us the lowest lows. It happens when

the spiritual chord with which we hold on to life is broken. And it broke for me on 3^rd Feb 2011, the day he breathed his last breath... Dad said he passed away peacefully.. I am sure he did. Because that is how he lived his life.. PEACEFULLY!!!

There is so much to write, but I can only share my feelings through these wonder lines -

“If tears could build a stairway,

And memories a lane,

I would walk right up to heaven

And bring you home again”

Family

A home isn't made by bricks, a home isn't made by luxuries it gives... 

A home is made by the PEOPLE who live there...
The love, the care, the laughter, the tears they share together...
Or else it becomes a PRISON HOUSE where thine soul is condemned to torture forever!!!!!

I sometimes wonder how the institution named ‘family’ came into being. From the subsistence level financial security it may bring, to the social security it can provide, to the emotional bonds it creates, it has become the basic unit of society. It is the building block of the society. It is the very foundation on which the whole structure of human civilization has been built.

‘Leo Tolstoy’ very rightly said in the opening lines of his famous novel, ‘Anna Kerenina’, “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way”.

It is the unhappy part of a family which is irksome. Why do people with diametrically opposite personality and intellect keep living with each other? How does a family end up becoming a mere social obligation??? Why don’t people choose to separate with dignity rather than torturing each other’s soul with humiliation??? It is perplexing to see that the man has been conditioned to suppress his true feelings since time immemorial. In order to be seen as ‘respectful’ in the eyes of the society, the man has become a HYPOCRITE. A hypocrite towards the society, which measures his conduct by a false ladder and  a hypocrite to his own self. From a beautiful social institution, a family has deteriorated into a social liability. And the sad part of the whole story is the impact on a child. The unlucky child becomes the sad victim of ‘misunion’ of two unhappy souls.

I believe it is very important to become a ‘complete individual’ before getting married. The problem comes when people look for that completeness in the ‘other’. In an endeavour to become complete through the ‘other’, most people lose their own personality and individuality. And hence mess up the very wonderful institution. Such an incomplete union can never bring any satisfaction to anyone. Wish to see much more complete people getting married!!!!!

Main Zindagi Ka Saath Nibahata Chala Gaya

Meaningful lyrics,wonderful music, combined with the brilliant performance by the legend himself, Mr Dev Anand... The song is so profound in its meaning..This is one song which is just three stanzas long..Yet it describes the essence of life so beautifully..

Life ain’t an easy odyssey.. It is a task full of challenges.. There are some who bow down under life's burden.. And there are some others who carve their own path.. They are the ones who don’t become the so called ‘football of other’s opinion’..They live their life to the fullest.. Their life like the flow of a river; flows smoothly, undaunted by the challenges that lie ahead ahead..The song means to express the true spirit of such a meaningful life- where the tragedies of life are not mourned upon, rather they are celebrated; where there is an immense acceptance to whatever the destiny has to offer; paving the way for a triumphant moment where the essential differences between the two pivotal emotions: happiness and sorrow cease to exist..

Main Zindagi Ka Saath Nibhata Chala Gaya 

Har Fikar Ko Dhuen Mein Udata Chala Gaya 

Barbadiyon Ka Shok Manana Fizul Tha 
Barbadiyon Ka Jashan Manata Chala Gaya 
Har Fikar Ko Dhuen Mein Uda… 

Jo Mil Gaya Usi Ko Muqaddar Samajh Liya 
Jo Kho Gaya Maein Usko Bhulata Chala Gaya 
Har Fikar Ko Dhuen Mein Uda… 

Gham Aur Khushi Mein Farq Na Mehsoos Ho Jahan 
Main Dil Ko Us Muqaam Pe Laata Chala Gaya 

Old is Gold... These days I am on a new journey..A journey to reinvent ‘Oldies’..Some of my favourite tracks from the golden era of Bollywood....

 

WHERE THE MIND IS WITHOUT FEAR !!!

26^th January is celebrated as 'Republic Day of India'. It is one of those very few days where the consciousness of being an Indian dawns on many of us. The notion of being called an Indian is a perplexing one indeed !!! It ain’t as simple as it seems.. My endeavour to decipher the essential Indian identity hasn’t produced any satisfactory results till now.

Indianness has to be understood through the historical context of nation building. India is seen as a ‘melting pot’ of diverse cultures and traditions. Multitudes of people, from Aryans to Mughals, visited India and decided to make it their permanent home. The nation saw origin of many religions; from Hinduism to Jainism to Buddhism to Sikhism... And therefore, after the official birth of India as a nation in August 1947, it became important to feed the idea of ‘unity in diversity’ to the citizens..

Thus, a grand narrative of ‘unity in diversity’ was fed to us since our childhood.. I find the whole narrative as a hollow one. It is built on the false premises. Because the narrative forces us to ignore the ground reality of the country where the regional identity has always superseded the national identity. There has been a persistent demand for secession from either a particular state or the nation as a whole. This means that the idea of seeing an essential unity in this diversity is definitely not viable today. No one can impose the feeling of being an Indian from outside through coercion. It should come from within. And if it is not coming we all are to be blamed for it..

In my opinion, the country should be made a federal republic like USA where each state enjoys maximum independence. That would bring an end to the insecurity faced by ethnic minorities who aren’t able to relate to the idea of Indianness. Only then, an essential Indian identity would come to the fore...And that identity would not mingle with the ethnic/regional identity...

This beautiful poem ' WHERE THE MIND IS WITHOUT FEAR' by nobel laurate 'RABINDRANATH TAGORE' is an inspiration and hope for those who still envision the notion of a united INDIA !!!

"Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high;

Where knowledge is free;
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments by narrow domestic walls;
Where words come out from the depth of truth;
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection:
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way into the dreary desert sand of dead habit;
Where the mind is lead forward by thee into ever-widening thought and action —
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake."

MISSION LOHRI!!!

Life is strange!!! Even though life is meant to be lived in the present moment, reminiscences from the past keep knocking at our door. And today the memories have once again tapped at my memories door on the happy occasion of Lohri festival.

For us, a bunch of few families in that Doctor’s colony in the small town named Naya Nangal,Punjab, the festival meant a grand celebration.. It meant a lot of hard work especially by the kids. For the kids it was a long hectic day. It started with collecting money/’Lohri’ by singing the jingle ‘Lohri do vi Lohri jive tuhadi Jorhi” in everyone’s home. It was binding for everyone to  pool in money for gifts and eatables for the evening ceremony...

I vividly remember the good old days when we used to go to the nearby forest/jungle to gather or rather sometimes to steal logs of wood for the bonfire. I lucidly remember one incident when we were trying to steal logs of wood from a nearby forest and the Sadhu to whom the logs belonged spotted us. In a very dramatic turn of events he scared us by pointing his ‘TRISHOOL’ at us. We literally ran for our lives.. As if his ‘Trishool’ was really going to hit us!!! I can still feel the thrill of running in that jungle!!!!

The evening started with assembling 2-3 chairs each from every house, which was to be arranged around the bonfire. It was followed by tossing moongfali (peanut), til, gachchak, rewari, popcorns, etc  on the bonfire. The game of musical chairs was the most awaited event in which everyone, from the kids, to the dads and to the moms was supposed to participate with full enthusiasm. The respective winner was presented with a gift which was nicely wrapped by us!!! I remember one particular incident where my dad pulled away a chair and my friend’s father fell on the ground!!! But off course everything was fair in the festive mood... J Singing and dancing continued till the midnight hour, paving the way for a successful completion of Misssion Lohri!!!

One thing I really miss about my childhood is the significance of small celebrations or events and the thrill associated with the same..There in something in your childhood which always keep you on your toes?  There is  a sense of excitement for the little things in life.. Every day is a new discovery!!!
 Presently, these memories might appear as a thing of a distant past, but the happiness associated with these childhood memories can’t be whisked away so easily....

 MY HEARTIEST WISHES

 TO ALL THE DEAR ONES...!!!

BEAUTIFUL QUOTES

"Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet." 
PLATO 

” What is the reason for living life, other than to love it?"
SOCRATES

PLATO's ultimate answer to the question “Who am I?” is not an “egoistic animal” or an “independent variable,” 
but an “immortal soul, corrupted by vice and purified by virtue, of whom the body is only an instrument".

‎" It isn't the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor"
SENECA

 “I love my friends neither with my heart, nor with my mind..
Just in case...Heart might stop..Mind can forget...

I love them with my soul..Soul never stops or forgets ...” 
RUMI

“What makes the Sufi? Purity of heart;...
Not the patched mantle and the lust perverse
Of those vile earth-bound men who steal his name.
He in all dregs discerns the essence pure:
In hardship ease, in tribulation joy.
The phantom sentries, who with batons drawn
Guard Beauty's palace-gate and curtained bower,
Give way before him, unafraid he passes,
And showing the King's arrow, enters in...........”
RUMI

“Soul receives from soul that knowledge, therefore not by book nor from tounge
If knowledge of mysteries comes from emptiness of mind, that is illumination of heart..”
RUMI

‎"Your task isn't to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself which you have built against it..." 
RUMI

"Wisdom tells us we are not worthy; Love tells us we are. My life flows between the two."
RUMI, Turkish Traditions

"Parh parh ilm hazaar kitaaban, Kadi apne aap nu parhya nahin


Jaa jaa wardey mandar maseeti , Kadi mann apne wich wareya nahin

Anven larda shaitaan de naal bandeya, Kadi nafs apne naal larya nahin

Aakhe peer Bulleh Shah aasmani pharna aen , Jehra man wich wasda unhoN 


pharyanahin”

‎
(You have read thousands of books but you have never tried to read your own self.

You rush into Mandir and Masajid but you have never tried to enter your own heart.

Futile are all your battles with Satan for you have never tried to fight your own desires.
You endeavor to attain worldly heights but fail to catch hold of the one who resides in your own heart..)

BULLEH SHAH

‎‎" Mullah te mashaali doven ekko chitt, lok kar de chaanan aap nehre vich"

("The Mullah and the torch-bearer, hail from the same stock;

They try to give light to others but themselves are in dark")
BULLEH SHAH

‎"In tragic life.......no villain need be
We are betrayed by what is false within"
GEORGE MEREDITH

‎"Listen to the chirping of the birds
Without the chirping of the mind !"

 OSHO

‎"Mankind ought to be taught that religions are but varied expressions of THE RELIGION, which is Oneness, so that each may choose the path that suits him best"
SWAMI VIVEKANANDA

“Aval allah noor upaeyaa, kudrat key sabh bandey;
 Ek noor tey sabh jag upjiayaa, kaun bhaley ko mandey...” 
(The lord created light and then by his omnipotence made all human beings. From the one light has welled up the entire universe. How can you say this one is good and this one is bad??? )

 KABIR

“Kind words and covering of faults are better than charity followed by injury"
THE QURAN

‎"He who wishes to secure good of others has already secured his own"
CONFUCIUS

“Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier.Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.. "
MOTHER TERESA

"Knowledge is a burden if it robs you of innocence
Knowledge is a burden if it makes you feel you are special
Knowledge is a burden if it gives you an idea that you are wise
Knowledge is a burden if it isn't integrated into life
Knowledge is a burden if it doesn't bring you joy
Knowledge is a burden if it doesn't set you free"
SRI SRI RAVI SHANKAR

‎"Thoughts arent the goal in themselves. Their goal is silence. When you ask the question "Who am I" you get no answer , there is only silence....
That is the real answer. Your soul is solidified silence and this solidified silence is wisdom, knowledge....."
SRI SRI RAVI SHANKAR

‎"Prayer within breadth is Silence
Love within infinity is Silence
Wisdom without words is Silence
Compassion without aim is Silence
Action without a doer is Silence
Smiling with all existence is Silence"
SRI SRI RAVI SHANKAR

"The tragedy of life doesn't lie in not reaching your goals ; The tragedy of life lies in NOT having goals to reach for"‎

"One's dignity maybe assaulted , vandalized and cruelly mocked, but can't be taken away unless it is surrendered"‎"

There's a better place than this loneliness???

There is something that follows you when you move about in this city(New Delhi)... There is a dark shadow which follows you everywhere. Be it the metro station, be it the market place, and be it the big malls..  There is something which follows you in this town...

And today I realized that it is the dark shadow of loneliness. What a paradox indeed!!! A place full of so many people can become the loneliest place in the world for you..

When I walk in this overcrowded city I can feel the empty spaces all around me... Not empty in their physicality.. But empty in their meaning.. Empty because I am not able to relate to anyone or anything... An identity crisis is engulfing me .. The mad rush of the maddening crowd in the metro is making me feel giddy.... “Where are all these people going???Why the mad rush???”  my mind is asking.  And then this loneliness starts entering into empty spaces of my mind, sending cold shivers down my spine; which is followed by numbness. And in that single instant all my senses become numb.. In that brief moment, the whole world is looking like a movie.. And I am nothing but a distant audience to that movie.. This instant carries the most important realization of life.. Realization that everything is so frivolous.. So meaningless.. I can feel the timelessness of this creation.... In this very second I  am ready to dissolve into the vast spaces of eternity.. And all the desires and thoughts are losing their essential meaning .. And I think I can call it  my very first existential moment !!!!  

The beautiful words of this magical song echo in my heart in this very moment!!! ----

‘ I feel so lonely...There’s a better place than this emptiness’

Song ‘Lonely’ from ‘Rohan Rathore’ -

Ho lov of mine..

With a song and a wine..You are harsh and divine like truths and a lie...

But the tale end’s not here.... I have nothing to fear..

For my love is yell of giving and hold on....

In the bright emptiness, in a room full of it

Is the cruel mistresss....

I feel the sunrise that nest all hollowness

For I have nowhere to go..And I am cold..

And I feel so lonelyyyyy yea

There’s a better place than this emptiness....

And I am so lonelyyyyy yeeeeeea...

There’s a better place than this emptiness......

Tune mere jaana kabhi nahi janaa Ishq meraaa dard meraaa....

Aashiq teraaaa bheed mein khoya rehta haiiii

Jaane jaahaaannn pucho to itna kehta hai

That I feel so lonelyyyyy

There’s a better place than this emptinessss.........

Here is the link - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLgTcI2ZGUw

An apology to the beloved brother BHAGAT SINGH!!!

Respected brother,

 I hope you are having a good time up there in heaven. Although you are essentially an atheist, but considering your actions in this nation 79 years ago, I am sure you must have found some honorable place in the heaven. Well, I was born in your beloved motherland in 1987,79 years after you attained MARTYRDOM on 23March 1931. I would like to update you about the fate of HINDUSTAN you left in the hands of the posterity.

 It was with the efforts of youngsters like you that we were able to finally attain independence on 15^th Aug1947. You should hear the speech ‘Tryst with Destiny’ on 15^th Aug 1947  powerfully delivered by Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru. It celebrated the proud moment with gusto. Indian freedom movement inspired many other nations of the world. 

 But sadly your beloved motherland was also torn into two separate nations on the basis of religion; HINDUSTAN and PAKISTAN, a culmination of the ‘divide and rule’ policy of Firangis/ Britishers and self interested politicians. Pakistanis would disagree with me on this point as they feel Hindus exploited Muslims before partition days, so they deserved a separate motherland for themselves(their version of partition). Although I would like to add here, that more Muslims chose to stay in Hindustan after the partition. The partition led to violent riots and bloodshed in which millions were killed, and many more were rendered homeless. It might come as a pleasant shock to you, but yes, Hindus and Sikhs did kill Muslims and vice versa.That wasn’t enough, so rioting continued for many years to come.


We still kill each other in the name of religion and caste.You and your compatriots fought valiantly against Firangis with unity. You felt Firnagis looked down upon us and exploited us. Well no more are Firangis left to exploit us now, so we do it to ourselves. We have become very corrupt and exploit this nation collectively. Lately, we have learnt hypocrisy too . We do show off the 9% growth rate to the world, but half of the population still lives below poverty line and more than 40% children are malnourished.....

This is no longer the 'AZAAD Hindustan' you dreamed for the posterity. There is no INDIA left to fight for. Some Sikhs fought for Khalistan; Kashmiris are still fighting for secession; Tribal’s feel cheated by the centre; Marathas want Maharashtra only for themselves. It doesn’t look like a nation anymore, but a conglomerate of mutually inimical states. Ayodhya issue is the latest bone of contention, but I don’t want to disturb you with further details.

It is not a very proud thing to be part of this nation today. Although I have always loved this nation but I am extremely saddened to say that THIS IS NO LONGER A NATION TO FIGHT FOR. It’s very basic structure has deteriorated by corruption and divisive politics has created fault lines among various communities.

 My intention of writing this letter isn’t to embarrass you. What you did must have seemed right to you in your circumstances. But I am sure this isn’t the country you dreamed of. And we all are equally responsible for creating the present day chaos. And  for that, all of us owe you an unconditional APOLOGY today, on the occasion of celebrating your 103^rd Birth Anniversary!!!

You are still seen as a major YOUTH ICON in this nation. And I am happy to see that many youngsters look up to you as a ROLE MODEL. The only ray of hope today is the YOUNGER generation who can bring major changes in the system by showing zero tolerance to corruption and by not giving in to ‘vote bank politics’ of today’s terrorists / politicians...God knows we need many more Bhagat Singh(s) today.May God bless this nation....
Regards,
Your Sister


P.S. -  The poem 'SARFAROSHI KI TAMANNA' is relevant even today. I wish we could sing it along with you and get the much needed inspiration from the brave sacrifices made by you and all the other freedom fighters involved in Indian independence movement.

  Sarfaroshi ki tamanna ab humare dil mein hai 

Dekhna hai Zor kitna Baazu-e-Qatil mein hai

Aye watan, karte nahi kyun dusre kuch baat cheet

Dekhta hun main jise wo Chup tere Mehfil mein hain

Aye Shaheed-e-Mulk-o-millat main tere upar nisar

Ab tere Himmat ka charcha Gair ki mehfil mein hai

Waqt aane dey tujhe bata denge ai Aasman

Hum abhi se kya batayen kya humare dil mein hai

Kheench kar layin hai sabko Qatal hone ki umeed

Aashiqon ka aaj jumghat Kucha-e-Qatil mein hai

Sarfaroshi ki tamanna ab humare dil mein he hai

Hai liye hathiyar dushman taak mein baitha udhar

Aur hum tayar hai sina liye apna idhar

Khoon se khelenge holi agar watan mushkil mein hai

Sarfaroshi ki Tamanna ab humare Dil mein hai

Hath jin mein ho Junoon katt te nahi talwaar se

Sar jo Uth jate hain wo jhukte nahi lalkaar se

Aur bharkega jo shola-sa  humare dil mein hai

Sarfaroshi Ki Tamanna ab humare dil mein hai

Hum to ghar se nikle hi the baand kar sar pe Kafan

Jaan hathele par liye jo bharh chale hai ye kadam

Zindagi to apni Mehmaan Maut ki Mehfil mein hai

Yun khada Maqtaal mein kehraha hai baar baar

Kya Tamann-e-Shahadat bhi kisi ke dil mein hai 

Dil mein tufano ki toli aur Nason mein INQILAAB

Hosh dusman ke ura denge humein roko na aaj

Door reh paya jo humse Dum kahan Manzil mein hai

Sarfaroshi ki Tamanna ab Humare dil mein hai

Wo jism bhi kya jism hai jisme na ho Khoon-e-Junoon

Tufano se kya larhe jo Kashti-e-Sahil mein hai

A PRAYER

Life is such a dilemma. It is a clueless journey which we have to undertake anyway. There comes a time when you have to make major decisions for your unforeseen future. These are the times one is expected to brace oneself up for the new tasks ahead. But what if I don’t want to move ahead??? What if I just wanna spend rest of my life exactly the way I am spending it now from last four months – living in this paradise called Nangal where everything is blessed. Clean water, clean air to breathe, a comfy room, balanced diet and beautiful birds... Seeing beautiful clouds cheers me up .. Seeing pretty birds cheers me up.. Just being with nature gives me all happiness...

But coming back to the REAL world, I find myself in Delhi in next 10days. I love Delhi as all my relatives live there. In fact I was born there and stayed there till the age of 6years. I visit Delhi 2-3times in a year..

But!!!!!!!Living there like forever? How does one do that? Especially after spending 18years in Nangal and 7 Years in Chandigarh (City Beautiful), how is one supposed to move to Delhi???!!!

It has a population density of over 9000people/Square Kms. When you go there the only thing you see is people!!! So many of them!!! I sometimes wonder where they all come from??? (But offcourse they are like me, entering the capital in search for more opportunities). Then there is garbage, Nalas , pollution , Dengue and many such diseases; and latest mess is created in capital, thanks to CWG2010. People spit on the roads, people push each other to get on to a bus etc etc.. The only clean place is indeed Metro Station!!!

I wish I could spend rest of my life in A.C.Joshi Library, Panjab University, Chandigarh, studying great works from great authors forever. What a bliss indeed!!! Studying and studying hours together without any interference. It was one rocking year of my life(last year) where I studied like I always wanted to...!!!! Beautiful memories indeed!!!

But coming back to the real world yet again, Chandigarh doesn’t have much opportunity. So, moving to Delhi is inevitable!!! I have two options in Delhi. Either I study for IAS for next two years or opt for a job..These two are also diametrically opposite. The former is a dream, an obsession, and the latter is a REALITY, a need of the hour!!!

As I embark on this new journey ahead I just pray to almighty that I would be able to solve the DILEMMA I am presently in....