An apology to the beloved brother BHAGAT SINGH!!!

Respected brother,

 I hope you are having a good time up there in heaven. Although you are essentially an atheist, but considering your actions in this nation 79 years ago, I am sure you must have found some honorable place in the heaven. Well, I was born in your beloved motherland in 1987,79 years after you attained MARTYRDOM on 23March 1931. I would like to update you about the fate of HINDUSTAN you left in the hands of the posterity.

 It was with the efforts of youngsters like you that we were able to finally attain independence on 15^th Aug1947. You should hear the speech ‘Tryst with Destiny’ on 15^th Aug 1947  powerfully delivered by Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru. It celebrated the proud moment with gusto. Indian freedom movement inspired many other nations of the world. 

 But sadly your beloved motherland was also torn into two separate nations on the basis of religion; HINDUSTAN and PAKISTAN, a culmination of the ‘divide and rule’ policy of Firangis/ Britishers and self interested politicians. Pakistanis would disagree with me on this point as they feel Hindus exploited Muslims before partition days, so they deserved a separate motherland for themselves(their version of partition). Although I would like to add here, that more Muslims chose to stay in Hindustan after the partition. The partition led to violent riots and bloodshed in which millions were killed, and many more were rendered homeless. It might come as a pleasant shock to you, but yes, Hindus and Sikhs did kill Muslims and vice versa.That wasn’t enough, so rioting continued for many years to come.


We still kill each other in the name of religion and caste.You and your compatriots fought valiantly against Firangis with unity. You felt Firnagis looked down upon us and exploited us. Well no more are Firangis left to exploit us now, so we do it to ourselves. We have become very corrupt and exploit this nation collectively. Lately, we have learnt hypocrisy too . We do show off the 9% growth rate to the world, but half of the population still lives below poverty line and more than 40% children are malnourished.....

This is no longer the 'AZAAD Hindustan' you dreamed for the posterity. There is no INDIA left to fight for. Some Sikhs fought for Khalistan; Kashmiris are still fighting for secession; Tribal’s feel cheated by the centre; Marathas want Maharashtra only for themselves. It doesn’t look like a nation anymore, but a conglomerate of mutually inimical states. Ayodhya issue is the latest bone of contention, but I don’t want to disturb you with further details.

It is not a very proud thing to be part of this nation today. Although I have always loved this nation but I am extremely saddened to say that THIS IS NO LONGER A NATION TO FIGHT FOR. It’s very basic structure has deteriorated by corruption and divisive politics has created fault lines among various communities.

 My intention of writing this letter isn’t to embarrass you. What you did must have seemed right to you in your circumstances. But I am sure this isn’t the country you dreamed of. And we all are equally responsible for creating the present day chaos. And  for that, all of us owe you an unconditional APOLOGY today, on the occasion of celebrating your 103^rd Birth Anniversary!!!

You are still seen as a major YOUTH ICON in this nation. And I am happy to see that many youngsters look up to you as a ROLE MODEL. The only ray of hope today is the YOUNGER generation who can bring major changes in the system by showing zero tolerance to corruption and by not giving in to ‘vote bank politics’ of today’s terrorists / politicians...God knows we need many more Bhagat Singh(s) today.May God bless this nation....
Regards,
Your Sister


P.S. -  The poem 'SARFAROSHI KI TAMANNA' is relevant even today. I wish we could sing it along with you and get the much needed inspiration from the brave sacrifices made by you and all the other freedom fighters involved in Indian independence movement.

  Sarfaroshi ki tamanna ab humare dil mein hai 

Dekhna hai Zor kitna Baazu-e-Qatil mein hai

Aye watan, karte nahi kyun dusre kuch baat cheet

Dekhta hun main jise wo Chup tere Mehfil mein hain

Aye Shaheed-e-Mulk-o-millat main tere upar nisar

Ab tere Himmat ka charcha Gair ki mehfil mein hai

Waqt aane dey tujhe bata denge ai Aasman

Hum abhi se kya batayen kya humare dil mein hai

Kheench kar layin hai sabko Qatal hone ki umeed

Aashiqon ka aaj jumghat Kucha-e-Qatil mein hai

Sarfaroshi ki tamanna ab humare dil mein he hai

Hai liye hathiyar dushman taak mein baitha udhar

Aur hum tayar hai sina liye apna idhar

Khoon se khelenge holi agar watan mushkil mein hai

Sarfaroshi ki Tamanna ab humare Dil mein hai

Hath jin mein ho Junoon katt te nahi talwaar se

Sar jo Uth jate hain wo jhukte nahi lalkaar se

Aur bharkega jo shola-sa  humare dil mein hai

Sarfaroshi Ki Tamanna ab humare dil mein hai

Hum to ghar se nikle hi the baand kar sar pe Kafan

Jaan hathele par liye jo bharh chale hai ye kadam

Zindagi to apni Mehmaan Maut ki Mehfil mein hai

Yun khada Maqtaal mein kehraha hai baar baar

Kya Tamann-e-Shahadat bhi kisi ke dil mein hai 

Dil mein tufano ki toli aur Nason mein INQILAAB

Hosh dusman ke ura denge humein roko na aaj

Door reh paya jo humse Dum kahan Manzil mein hai

Sarfaroshi ki Tamanna ab Humare dil mein hai

Wo jism bhi kya jism hai jisme na ho Khoon-e-Junoon

Tufano se kya larhe jo Kashti-e-Sahil mein hai

A PRAYER

Life is such a dilemma. It is a clueless journey which we have to undertake anyway. There comes a time when you have to make major decisions for your unforeseen future. These are the times one is expected to brace oneself up for the new tasks ahead. But what if I don’t want to move ahead??? What if I just wanna spend rest of my life exactly the way I am spending it now from last four months – living in this paradise called Nangal where everything is blessed. Clean water, clean air to breathe, a comfy room, balanced diet and beautiful birds... Seeing beautiful clouds cheers me up .. Seeing pretty birds cheers me up.. Just being with nature gives me all happiness...

But coming back to the REAL world, I find myself in Delhi in next 10days. I love Delhi as all my relatives live there. In fact I was born there and stayed there till the age of 6years. I visit Delhi 2-3times in a year..

But!!!!!!!Living there like forever? How does one do that? Especially after spending 18years in Nangal and 7 Years in Chandigarh (City Beautiful), how is one supposed to move to Delhi???!!!

It has a population density of over 9000people/Square Kms. When you go there the only thing you see is people!!! So many of them!!! I sometimes wonder where they all come from??? (But offcourse they are like me, entering the capital in search for more opportunities). Then there is garbage, Nalas , pollution , Dengue and many such diseases; and latest mess is created in capital, thanks to CWG2010. People spit on the roads, people push each other to get on to a bus etc etc.. The only clean place is indeed Metro Station!!!

I wish I could spend rest of my life in A.C.Joshi Library, Panjab University, Chandigarh, studying great works from great authors forever. What a bliss indeed!!! Studying and studying hours together without any interference. It was one rocking year of my life(last year) where I studied like I always wanted to...!!!! Beautiful memories indeed!!!

But coming back to the real world yet again, Chandigarh doesn’t have much opportunity. So, moving to Delhi is inevitable!!! I have two options in Delhi. Either I study for IAS for next two years or opt for a job..These two are also diametrically opposite. The former is a dream, an obsession, and the latter is a REALITY, a need of the hour!!!

As I embark on this new journey ahead I just pray to almighty that I would be able to solve the DILEMMA I am presently in....

A C Joshi Library , Panjab University

It is funny that I am writing about a library of all the places in this world. But its significance can only be understood by a person who has been to this amazing place. When I entered it for the first time, I was thrilled to see so many people studying together under the same roof consistently for hours. I had never seen anything like it before.

My initial absurd reason of entering in this library wasn’t STUDIES. It was an escape from my roommate in the hostel. Not because she wasn’t a nice one. Rather she is the best roommate I ever got SANS her HARMONIUM and daily RAYAZ!!! She was in Music Department!!! And she did RAYAZ daily for 2-3 hours, when it was time for me to sleep in the afternoon. After initial bickering with her I chose to make some PEACE by opting outa that dreaded “Kaal Kothri” when she used to do her Rayaz. And I entered LIBRARY!!!

But off course PU hostel room is a ‘Kaal Kothri’. A small compressed room sans any ventilation except for slits which don’t open most of the times!!! Thanks to the great architect of those rooms, who instead of putting a much needed window in the room put a wide glass pane which was fixed on the wall and couldn’t be opened. It worked for the inmates (hostelers) as a green house gas plant where all the heat could enter but none could escape!!! And you are the luckiest of all if you stay on the 6^th floor. A blissful state indeed!!! And when in such a blessed ‘Kaal Kothri’ my roommate used to start her Rayaz, I used to get out of the room by the time her SUR reached Pa of Sa Re Ga Ma Pa( no offence to singers). One can imagine the added effect of ECHO in an airtight room!!!

Coming back to AC Joshi Library, slowly I started liking that place. Eventually I too started studying 4-5 hours/day and left my afternoon napping habit for the first time in my life!!! It was an honour studying with the students there, most of whom were preparing for civil services, MBAs, M.Tech, PHDs. The whole atmosphere gets you into study mode within 10-15 minutes. There are some unsaid rules in the Library like pin drop silence (although 100s of students studies together), adjusting with the loss of your seat once you go out, etc. I still remember the “Happy Reading slogan” someone put on its wall. It is open for 24hours and hence a big bonus for boys!!! Only few girls have the courage to go there at nights but it is allowed.

The only problem in library is constant STARING by boys!!! They stare at girls as though this is their very last opportunity to see a girl, which embarrasses many girls outright. No doubt it is a place with majority of boys. The only way for a girl to survive such stares is to become indifferent to everyone to which I almost succeeded (99%) Well there is a 1% chance always in such a scenario!!! :)

Anybody who knows A.C Joshi Library knows STU-C/ student centre too. This is the place where one hangs around with one’s friends for coffee,tea,lunch or just casual talk. It is one of the most happening places of the whole campus of the university. From FM radio RJs shows to election rallies, it is the most vibrant place of the University.

My Department is known to be one of the most rocking departments in University and rightly so. Although initially I had no intention of doing MA in English Literature, but now I realize its significance. 1st year mainly contains beautiful plays,novels and poetry and literary criticism . But the second year is the challenging one. When the bomb of Contemporary Literary Criticism falls on you, you get disillusioned for a few months. The fact of the matter is that it is totally incomprehensible. From incomprehensible Deconstruction to Modernism to Post modernism to Structuralism to Marxism to my favorite Feminism, it disorients the student for some time. Then you open Peter Barry’s Book and start getting a little clue of the whole situation. Here I would like to mention Rumina Mam, Rana Sir and Raina Sir who helped us to a large extent to make some sense of Literary Criticism!!! The intellectual arguments during lectures of Rumina Mam, Rana Sir are the most memorable ones...

I have many fond memories of my two years spent in the University for my MA degree. My shifting to the hostel in 2^nd year was a turning point in my life. A place like university becomes a comfort zone for anyone. And moving ahead from such a vibrant place to a lonely cabinet of a boring serious office would be a big task for any student who experienced University life. It brings nostalgia to me every time I wander around PU....

I wish I could turn back the clock for once!!!

Saga of Woman - a Daughter, a Mother, a Wife

I have always been a little critical about the gangster and show off culture being propagated by Punjabi Singer’s use of lyrics in Punjabi songs in general. But today I came across this amazing Punjabi song by ‘Saint Soldier Sukhbir’ named ‘Sister’ which is an appeal against female foeticide. Its lyrics goes like this- “Kukh vich dhee nu maar den waliye, Rabb karkay bane na kade Maa" (As you kill the female foetus in your womb , may you never get a chance to become a mother)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dL28yyhWxK8
That is an apt CURSE for all the people practicing gender genocide.....

Female foeticide is a menace of society. Statistics reveal that as many as 10 million girls in India have been killed by their parents either before(foeticide) or immediately after birth(infanticide) over the past 20 years..This menace has been created by people with a MINDSET where male child is preferred over female child. In our (show off) Punjabi culture, DOWRY has become a major STATUS SYMBOL , discouraging people from giving birth to girls as they are seen as a future liability on parents. Also, there is an immense GREED for money in the form of DOWRY. Shockingly, rural female sex ratio is better than its urban counterpart implying that education, prosperity and money plays no role in curbing the menace. I remember I saw a hoarding in Haryana long time back ; spend Rs 2000(Foeticide) now and save 2Lakh after 20 years (Dowry) !!!

Dwindling female sex ratio is a direct impact of the female foeticide. Female sex ratio in India is one of the lowest in the world (National Average-933females/1000males) with Punjab (798), Haryana (861), UP (898), Chandigarh (777), taking the lead..
Female foeticide is just the tip of the iceberg of the larger issue of exploitation of woman. It is reported that around 50million woman are missing in India till date due to gender genocide..The issue of exploitation of woman is much broader and encompasses evils like Foeticide (killing of foetus) , Infanticide (killing of infant) , Neglect of girl child ( birth to adolescence) leading to malnutrition and many times to death , Early Marriage and Pregnancy, Dowry Death , Honour Killings, Domestic Violence , Prostitution and Trafficking of woman..............

They call this nation Bharat Mata or Matrabhoomi . And this is how women are treated in this country . I think it is high time that this patriarchal structure should reconsider its age old conventions and rigid mindset . Strict legislations and measures by government & awareness created by NGO’s can also play a major role here. YOUNGSTERS are the agents of change in a nation and should come forward to vehemently oppose such social malpractices...SWAMI VIVEKANANDA was right when he said -“That country and that nation which doesn't respect women will never become great now and nor ever in the future”.

Giving PEACE a chance

24th September 2010 will be a memorable day for India. Media is in buzz about the famous verdict and its aftermath. Everyone is being requested to practise restraint through media, sms, and internet. We still don’t know if it would bring good memories or bad memories. It is the date when High Court will give its verdict on Babri Masjid/ Ram Janambhoomi case which is lingering around in this country since independence.

ISSUE-Hindus believe that a temple was constructed on this site in 10th A.D., which was destroyed by Mughal emperor Babar in 1528 and instead a Masjid was constructed here. Muslims refuse the claim of presence of a temple here. Many Hindu groups came together in 1980s in order to bring the issue to the centre stage and worked towards constructing of a temple here... It was finally On 6thDecember 1992, when RSS,VHP,BJP ‘car sewaks’ demolished the Babri Masjid leading to communal riots and breakdown of law and order situation in Ayodhya.

Riots has been a regular phenomena in India since Independence. Riots at the time of partition(1947), Anti Sikh riots(1984) , Anti Muslim riots(2002) are the black spots in our history. RIOTS THRIVE ON MOBS. A mob which contains highly infuriated and politically charged people who can go to any extent in killing people and damaging property. What I have understood from these riots is that it creates a generation of Muslims hating Hindus forever or a generation of Sikhs hating Hindus forever and vice versa. The wounds created by such bloodshed are also sometimes passed on to the next generation.

Speaking historically, India has seen birth of many religions (from Hinduism to Buddhism to Jainism to Sikhism). It is paradoxical to see that a country with SUFI and BHAKTI movements at its background can also get infuriated by such an issue. India is a nation where we have practiced communal harmony and tolerance throughout the history. We need to REVISIT OUR PAST and learn essential lessons on communal harmony and brotherhood from it. Maybe this couplet of Bhakti Saint , Kabir , which has also been included in “Guru Granth Sahib” can help us in revisiting our glorious past -

“Aval allah noor upae-aa, Kudrat key sabh bandey, Ek noor tey sabh jag upjia-aa, Kaun bhaley ko mandey...”

(First Allah created the Light. Then by His Creative Power He made all mortal beings. From that One Light, the entire universe came into being. So, who is good and who's bad, indeed???)

‎BULLEH SHAH’s words here emphasise futility of rituals and traditions which can’t lead to God, for He can only be found by searching within ourselves -

"Parh parh ilm hazaar kitaaban, Kadi apne aap nu parhya nahin
Jaa jaa wardey mandar maseeti , Kadi mann apne wich wareya nahin
Anven larda shaitaan de naal bandeya, Kadi nafs apne naal larya nahin
Aakhe peer Bulleh Shah aasmani pharna aen , Jehra man wich wasda unhoN pharya nahin”
‎(You have read thousands of books but you have never tried to read your own self.

You rush into Mandir and Masajid but you have never tried to enter your own heart.

Futile are all your battles with Satan for you have never tried to fight your own desires.
You endeavor to attain worldly heights but fail to catch hold of the one who resides in your own heart..)

Does it really matter which monument stood there centuries ago??? Can’t we simply construct a MONUMENT ON COMMUNAL HARMONY on this disputed land, thereby, CELEBRATING SECULAR ETHOS OF OUR NATION????

It would be a SHAME if this time also people decide to give in to the divisive policies practised by religious extremists groups. A secular and diverse country can’t afford hatred and mistrust among its citizens. The insecurity felt by minorities after such adverse circumstances (riots) give rise to social instability. There are bigger issues like poverty,inflation,development today. Maybe it is the time when divisive communal issues can take a backseat...

Let us give PEACE a chance on 24th September 2010 and set a precedent for future generations....

You will always be remembered

It was around 12 AM on 3rd April,2009 when dad came to my room. He switched on the lights. He was staring blankly at me. I had never seen such expressions on his face before as most of the times he is expressionless. When I inquired with him, he told me in blank doctor's tone that "Omi Chacha had a heart attack". I didn’t feel anything at that moment. I was a little surprised that Omi Chacha could have a thing like that. But I was calm and composed. I thought off course he will be fine soon.

Why? Because that's how it is supposed to be. People like him are always there. He will always be there. I mean it is obvious that he will be walking again the very next morning. No one ever has ever known him as a weak man. His presence in our family is always an OBVIOUS FACT. Not because he is very rich or talkative. But because his presence gives you a hope in life.He is a great guide, brother, son, dad, husband, best friend to everyone around him.

In all his relationships he is a GIVER. He has never taken anything from anyone. And he is around to help or guide everyone in the family 24/7 So, I was sure he will be just fine.

Half an hour later my dad told me" Beta he is on ventilator, chances are that he won’t survive it”. 

This very sentence shook me from inside. I don’t have the exact words to express my feelings. But I was still sure he will survive because of the very fact that Omi Chacha is the inevitable fact of life and off course he will always be present in this world. Papa and Chachas are the elders and are always supposed to be around to take care of us..

Until that day I always thought that this death thing happens only to others. It can’t happen to my family.
It was raining heavily outside that night when Dad left for Delhi. At around 3 AM I got a call from my cousin . She said,” Beta Omi Chacha is no more” , and I asked “Is he doing fine?” She again said that he was no more. I could not grasp the meaning of those words. Then I heard a loud scream. No one spoke any further.

Shruti called me after that and just said in a blank voice “Geetu, papa(dad) is no more, come soon to Delhi”. I believe it was the first time in our lives that we cousins didn’t know what to say to each other. I said ok and she hung up.

It was the first funeral I attended in my life. Well most of us don’t feel anything on funeral ground. We feel as if we are watching a movie and the bad part will be over soon. The body lying there holds no meaning to you because it is immobile.

The experience changes one forever... This is the time when one starts realizing that people around him are lost in futile materialistic endeavours when death is the only certainty in life. You don’t hate them for that. But you do become asocial. Because no one understands the excruciating pain caused by death until it happens to the people who are close to you. After disastrous final exams I restarted my life in August by studying 5-6 hours a day for the first time in 17years of my student life. Books became my best friends and all the other useless friends were lost I think I tried to escape from the situation by delving deep into books. I became oblivious to the people around me. Though I was always in the crowd, I was always alone. I just couldn’t relate to anyone or anything..

Bade Tayaji was unquestionably the one who lost courage all together. His stone cold eyes scared me that day and I knew intuitively that he won’t survive for too long..Within 3 months he went into coma...

On 19^th December while I was reading a novel in the library, I found a few lines in which the author was trying to explain how inexplicable death was. The moment I messaged those lines to Shruti, I got a message from her that bade Tayaji was no more..

Loosing 2 people within a span of 8months is a turning point for anyone. It shatters one completely. Daily you wake up watching the funeral scene again and again . You let it torture you for a while. But then a day comes when you confront it boldly. And then come the acceptance of the inevitability of death.

Death of a loved one is a wakeup call . It is at this very moment that one stops for sometime from running wildly in this maddening world which is rightly called the world of illusion in Gita. It is in this very moment that one gets to analyse deeply the spiritual meaning of man’s existence. It is this moment that one starts rearranging one’s own beliefs and starts asking questions . Is this maddening race worth the effort? Are we running for satisfying temporary pleasures by sacrificing the higher/divine purpose of human existence? Are we all greedily hoarding money and property for a future which may or mayn’t come? Are we neglecting to live fully in the “beautiful present moment”( which Zen masters so beautifully emphasize) for the sake of an imaginary perfect tomorrow???????

Death initially does startle us, but if we are willing to learn from it, it can bring lifelong serenity to our life. You don’t have to look outward for the answers. It is deep inside that all the eternal answers are hidden. The most beautiful realization of life is that one day we all will perish. In a fraction of a second , the very thread of life will be broken. When that moment will come for someone, nobody knows. But we do know how to make life worth living till that moment comes to us. 
We can always find people around us who lead life in an exemplary way. These are the ones who live fearlessly , showering love and compassion on everyone they meet. They don’t go by established conventions and beliefs. They break out of narrow orthodox ways of living, for spiritual growth is the essence of their living. And when such people die we shouldn’t mourn their death. We should learn the essential lessons they taught us. It is in their exemplary way of living that we can learn the essential lessons. We should be thankful that such people showered their blessings upon us and showed us the right path to lead life. It would be my personal endeavour to search for my loved ones not in my tears but in my laughter.. And I am sure whenever I will do that they will laugh along with me too...

I would like to close the post by quoting few lines from my favourite poet Khalil Gibran –

“There are those who give little of the much which they have--and they give it for recognition and their hidden desire makes their gifts unwholesome.
And there are those who have little and give it all.
These are the believers in life and the bounty of life, and their coffer is never empty.
There are those who give with joy, and that joy is their reward.
And there are those who give with pain, and that pain is their baptism.
And there are those who give and know not pain in giving, nor do they seek joy, nor give with mindfulness of virtue;
They give as in yonder valley the myrtle breathes its fragrance into space.
Through the hands of such as these God speaks, and from behind their eyes He smiles upon the earth.”