A C Joshi Library , Panjab University

It is funny that I am writing about a library of all the places in this world. But its significance can only be understood by a person who has been to this amazing place. When I entered it for the first time, I was thrilled to see so many people studying together under the same roof consistently for hours. I had never seen anything like it before.

My initial absurd reason of entering in this library wasn’t STUDIES. It was an escape from my roommate in the hostel. Not because she wasn’t a nice one. Rather she is the best roommate I ever got SANS her HARMONIUM and daily RAYAZ!!! She was in Music Department!!! And she did RAYAZ daily for 2-3 hours, when it was time for me to sleep in the afternoon. After initial bickering with her I chose to make some PEACE by opting outa that dreaded “Kaal Kothri” when she used to do her Rayaz. And I entered LIBRARY!!!

But off course PU hostel room is a ‘Kaal Kothri’. A small compressed room sans any ventilation except for slits which don’t open most of the times!!! Thanks to the great architect of those rooms, who instead of putting a much needed window in the room put a wide glass pane which was fixed on the wall and couldn’t be opened. It worked for the inmates (hostelers) as a green house gas plant where all the heat could enter but none could escape!!! And you are the luckiest of all if you stay on the 6^th floor. A blissful state indeed!!! And when in such a blessed ‘Kaal Kothri’ my roommate used to start her Rayaz, I used to get out of the room by the time her SUR reached Pa of Sa Re Ga Ma Pa( no offence to singers). One can imagine the added effect of ECHO in an airtight room!!!

Coming back to AC Joshi Library, slowly I started liking that place. Eventually I too started studying 4-5 hours/day and left my afternoon napping habit for the first time in my life!!! It was an honour studying with the students there, most of whom were preparing for civil services, MBAs, M.Tech, PHDs. The whole atmosphere gets you into study mode within 10-15 minutes. There are some unsaid rules in the Library like pin drop silence (although 100s of students studies together), adjusting with the loss of your seat once you go out, etc. I still remember the “Happy Reading slogan” someone put on its wall. It is open for 24hours and hence a big bonus for boys!!! Only few girls have the courage to go there at nights but it is allowed.

The only problem in library is constant STARING by boys!!! They stare at girls as though this is their very last opportunity to see a girl, which embarrasses many girls outright. No doubt it is a place with majority of boys. The only way for a girl to survive such stares is to become indifferent to everyone to which I almost succeeded (99%) Well there is a 1% chance always in such a scenario!!! :)

Anybody who knows A.C Joshi Library knows STU-C/ student centre too. This is the place where one hangs around with one’s friends for coffee,tea,lunch or just casual talk. It is one of the most happening places of the whole campus of the university. From FM radio RJs shows to election rallies, it is the most vibrant place of the University.

My Department is known to be one of the most rocking departments in University and rightly so. Although initially I had no intention of doing MA in English Literature, but now I realize its significance. 1st year mainly contains beautiful plays,novels and poetry and literary criticism . But the second year is the challenging one. When the bomb of Contemporary Literary Criticism falls on you, you get disillusioned for a few months. The fact of the matter is that it is totally incomprehensible. From incomprehensible Deconstruction to Modernism to Post modernism to Structuralism to Marxism to my favorite Feminism, it disorients the student for some time. Then you open Peter Barry’s Book and start getting a little clue of the whole situation. Here I would like to mention Rumina Mam, Rana Sir and Raina Sir who helped us to a large extent to make some sense of Literary Criticism!!! The intellectual arguments during lectures of Rumina Mam, Rana Sir are the most memorable ones...

I have many fond memories of my two years spent in the University for my MA degree. My shifting to the hostel in 2^nd year was a turning point in my life. A place like university becomes a comfort zone for anyone. And moving ahead from such a vibrant place to a lonely cabinet of a boring serious office would be a big task for any student who experienced University life. It brings nostalgia to me every time I wander around PU....

I wish I could turn back the clock for once!!!

Saga of Woman - a Daughter, a Mother, a Wife

I have always been a little critical about the gangster and show off culture being propagated by Punjabi Singer’s use of lyrics in Punjabi songs in general. But today I came across this amazing Punjabi song by ‘Saint Soldier Sukhbir’ named ‘Sister’ which is an appeal against female foeticide. Its lyrics goes like this- “Kukh vich dhee nu maar den waliye, Rabb karkay bane na kade Maa" (As you kill the female foetus in your womb , may you never get a chance to become a mother)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dL28yyhWxK8
That is an apt CURSE for all the people practicing gender genocide.....

Female foeticide is a menace of society. Statistics reveal that as many as 10 million girls in India have been killed by their parents either before(foeticide) or immediately after birth(infanticide) over the past 20 years..This menace has been created by people with a MINDSET where male child is preferred over female child. In our (show off) Punjabi culture, DOWRY has become a major STATUS SYMBOL , discouraging people from giving birth to girls as they are seen as a future liability on parents. Also, there is an immense GREED for money in the form of DOWRY. Shockingly, rural female sex ratio is better than its urban counterpart implying that education, prosperity and money plays no role in curbing the menace. I remember I saw a hoarding in Haryana long time back ; spend Rs 2000(Foeticide) now and save 2Lakh after 20 years (Dowry) !!!

Dwindling female sex ratio is a direct impact of the female foeticide. Female sex ratio in India is one of the lowest in the world (National Average-933females/1000males) with Punjab (798), Haryana (861), UP (898), Chandigarh (777), taking the lead..
Female foeticide is just the tip of the iceberg of the larger issue of exploitation of woman. It is reported that around 50million woman are missing in India till date due to gender genocide..The issue of exploitation of woman is much broader and encompasses evils like Foeticide (killing of foetus) , Infanticide (killing of infant) , Neglect of girl child ( birth to adolescence) leading to malnutrition and many times to death , Early Marriage and Pregnancy, Dowry Death , Honour Killings, Domestic Violence , Prostitution and Trafficking of woman..............

They call this nation Bharat Mata or Matrabhoomi . And this is how women are treated in this country . I think it is high time that this patriarchal structure should reconsider its age old conventions and rigid mindset . Strict legislations and measures by government & awareness created by NGO’s can also play a major role here. YOUNGSTERS are the agents of change in a nation and should come forward to vehemently oppose such social malpractices...SWAMI VIVEKANANDA was right when he said -“That country and that nation which doesn't respect women will never become great now and nor ever in the future”.

Giving PEACE a chance

24th September 2010 will be a memorable day for India. Media is in buzz about the famous verdict and its aftermath. Everyone is being requested to practise restraint through media, sms, and internet. We still don’t know if it would bring good memories or bad memories. It is the date when High Court will give its verdict on Babri Masjid/ Ram Janambhoomi case which is lingering around in this country since independence.

ISSUE-Hindus believe that a temple was constructed on this site in 10th A.D., which was destroyed by Mughal emperor Babar in 1528 and instead a Masjid was constructed here. Muslims refuse the claim of presence of a temple here. Many Hindu groups came together in 1980s in order to bring the issue to the centre stage and worked towards constructing of a temple here... It was finally On 6thDecember 1992, when RSS,VHP,BJP ‘car sewaks’ demolished the Babri Masjid leading to communal riots and breakdown of law and order situation in Ayodhya.

Riots has been a regular phenomena in India since Independence. Riots at the time of partition(1947), Anti Sikh riots(1984) , Anti Muslim riots(2002) are the black spots in our history. RIOTS THRIVE ON MOBS. A mob which contains highly infuriated and politically charged people who can go to any extent in killing people and damaging property. What I have understood from these riots is that it creates a generation of Muslims hating Hindus forever or a generation of Sikhs hating Hindus forever and vice versa. The wounds created by such bloodshed are also sometimes passed on to the next generation.

Speaking historically, India has seen birth of many religions (from Hinduism to Buddhism to Jainism to Sikhism). It is paradoxical to see that a country with SUFI and BHAKTI movements at its background can also get infuriated by such an issue. India is a nation where we have practiced communal harmony and tolerance throughout the history. We need to REVISIT OUR PAST and learn essential lessons on communal harmony and brotherhood from it. Maybe this couplet of Bhakti Saint , Kabir , which has also been included in “Guru Granth Sahib” can help us in revisiting our glorious past -

“Aval allah noor upae-aa, Kudrat key sabh bandey, Ek noor tey sabh jag upjia-aa, Kaun bhaley ko mandey...”

(First Allah created the Light. Then by His Creative Power He made all mortal beings. From that One Light, the entire universe came into being. So, who is good and who's bad, indeed???)

‎BULLEH SHAH’s words here emphasise futility of rituals and traditions which can’t lead to God, for He can only be found by searching within ourselves -

"Parh parh ilm hazaar kitaaban, Kadi apne aap nu parhya nahin
Jaa jaa wardey mandar maseeti , Kadi mann apne wich wareya nahin
Anven larda shaitaan de naal bandeya, Kadi nafs apne naal larya nahin
Aakhe peer Bulleh Shah aasmani pharna aen , Jehra man wich wasda unhoN pharya nahin”
‎(You have read thousands of books but you have never tried to read your own self.

You rush into Mandir and Masajid but you have never tried to enter your own heart.

Futile are all your battles with Satan for you have never tried to fight your own desires.
You endeavor to attain worldly heights but fail to catch hold of the one who resides in your own heart..)

Does it really matter which monument stood there centuries ago??? Can’t we simply construct a MONUMENT ON COMMUNAL HARMONY on this disputed land, thereby, CELEBRATING SECULAR ETHOS OF OUR NATION????

It would be a SHAME if this time also people decide to give in to the divisive policies practised by religious extremists groups. A secular and diverse country can’t afford hatred and mistrust among its citizens. The insecurity felt by minorities after such adverse circumstances (riots) give rise to social instability. There are bigger issues like poverty,inflation,development today. Maybe it is the time when divisive communal issues can take a backseat...

Let us give PEACE a chance on 24th September 2010 and set a precedent for future generations....

You will always be remembered

It was around 12 AM on 3rd April,2009 when dad came to my room. He switched on the lights. He was staring blankly at me. I had never seen such expressions on his face before as most of the times he is expressionless. When I inquired with him, he told me in blank doctor's tone that "Omi Chacha had a heart attack". I didn’t feel anything at that moment. I was a little surprised that Omi Chacha could have a thing like that. But I was calm and composed. I thought off course he will be fine soon.

Why? Because that's how it is supposed to be. People like him are always there. He will always be there. I mean it is obvious that he will be walking again the very next morning. No one ever has ever known him as a weak man. His presence in our family is always an OBVIOUS FACT. Not because he is very rich or talkative. But because his presence gives you a hope in life.He is a great guide, brother, son, dad, husband, best friend to everyone around him.

In all his relationships he is a GIVER. He has never taken anything from anyone. And he is around to help or guide everyone in the family 24/7 So, I was sure he will be just fine.

Half an hour later my dad told me" Beta he is on ventilator, chances are that he won’t survive it”. 

This very sentence shook me from inside. I don’t have the exact words to express my feelings. But I was still sure he will survive because of the very fact that Omi Chacha is the inevitable fact of life and off course he will always be present in this world. Papa and Chachas are the elders and are always supposed to be around to take care of us..

Until that day I always thought that this death thing happens only to others. It can’t happen to my family.
It was raining heavily outside that night when Dad left for Delhi. At around 3 AM I got a call from my cousin . She said,” Beta Omi Chacha is no more” , and I asked “Is he doing fine?” She again said that he was no more. I could not grasp the meaning of those words. Then I heard a loud scream. No one spoke any further.

Shruti called me after that and just said in a blank voice “Geetu, papa(dad) is no more, come soon to Delhi”. I believe it was the first time in our lives that we cousins didn’t know what to say to each other. I said ok and she hung up.

It was the first funeral I attended in my life. Well most of us don’t feel anything on funeral ground. We feel as if we are watching a movie and the bad part will be over soon. The body lying there holds no meaning to you because it is immobile.

The experience changes one forever... This is the time when one starts realizing that people around him are lost in futile materialistic endeavours when death is the only certainty in life. You don’t hate them for that. But you do become asocial. Because no one understands the excruciating pain caused by death until it happens to the people who are close to you. After disastrous final exams I restarted my life in August by studying 5-6 hours a day for the first time in 17years of my student life. Books became my best friends and all the other useless friends were lost I think I tried to escape from the situation by delving deep into books. I became oblivious to the people around me. Though I was always in the crowd, I was always alone. I just couldn’t relate to anyone or anything..

Bade Tayaji was unquestionably the one who lost courage all together. His stone cold eyes scared me that day and I knew intuitively that he won’t survive for too long..Within 3 months he went into coma...

On 19^th December while I was reading a novel in the library, I found a few lines in which the author was trying to explain how inexplicable death was. The moment I messaged those lines to Shruti, I got a message from her that bade Tayaji was no more..

Loosing 2 people within a span of 8months is a turning point for anyone. It shatters one completely. Daily you wake up watching the funeral scene again and again . You let it torture you for a while. But then a day comes when you confront it boldly. And then come the acceptance of the inevitability of death.

Death of a loved one is a wakeup call . It is at this very moment that one stops for sometime from running wildly in this maddening world which is rightly called the world of illusion in Gita. It is in this very moment that one gets to analyse deeply the spiritual meaning of man’s existence. It is this moment that one starts rearranging one’s own beliefs and starts asking questions . Is this maddening race worth the effort? Are we running for satisfying temporary pleasures by sacrificing the higher/divine purpose of human existence? Are we all greedily hoarding money and property for a future which may or mayn’t come? Are we neglecting to live fully in the “beautiful present moment”( which Zen masters so beautifully emphasize) for the sake of an imaginary perfect tomorrow???????

Death initially does startle us, but if we are willing to learn from it, it can bring lifelong serenity to our life. You don’t have to look outward for the answers. It is deep inside that all the eternal answers are hidden. The most beautiful realization of life is that one day we all will perish. In a fraction of a second , the very thread of life will be broken. When that moment will come for someone, nobody knows. But we do know how to make life worth living till that moment comes to us. 
We can always find people around us who lead life in an exemplary way. These are the ones who live fearlessly , showering love and compassion on everyone they meet. They don’t go by established conventions and beliefs. They break out of narrow orthodox ways of living, for spiritual growth is the essence of their living. And when such people die we shouldn’t mourn their death. We should learn the essential lessons they taught us. It is in their exemplary way of living that we can learn the essential lessons. We should be thankful that such people showered their blessings upon us and showed us the right path to lead life. It would be my personal endeavour to search for my loved ones not in my tears but in my laughter.. And I am sure whenever I will do that they will laugh along with me too...

I would like to close the post by quoting few lines from my favourite poet Khalil Gibran –

“There are those who give little of the much which they have--and they give it for recognition and their hidden desire makes their gifts unwholesome.
And there are those who have little and give it all.
These are the believers in life and the bounty of life, and their coffer is never empty.
There are those who give with joy, and that joy is their reward.
And there are those who give with pain, and that pain is their baptism.
And there are those who give and know not pain in giving, nor do they seek joy, nor give with mindfulness of virtue;
They give as in yonder valley the myrtle breathes its fragrance into space.
Through the hands of such as these God speaks, and from behind their eyes He smiles upon the earth.”

Some memorable poems

ON CHILDREN BY KHALIL GIBRAN

Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts. For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

RELIGION BY KHALIL GIBRAN Have I spoken this day of aught else? Is not religion all deeds and all reflection, And that which is neither deed nor reflection, but a wonder and a surprise ever springing in the soul, even while the hands hew the stone or tend the loom? Who can separate his faith from his actions, or his belief from his occupations? Who can spread his hours before him, saying, "This for God and this for myself; This for my soul, and this other for my body?" All your hours are wings that beat through space from self to self. He who wears his morality but as his best garment were better naked. The wind and the sun will tear no holes in his skin. And he who defines his conduct by ethics imprisons his song-bird in a cage. The freest song comes not through bars and wires. And he to whom worshipping is a window, to open but also to shut, has not yet visited the house of his soul whose windows are from dawn to dawn. Your daily life is your temple and your religion. Whenever you enter into it take with you your all. Take the plough and the forge and the mallet and the lute, The things you have fashioned in necessity or for delight. For in revery you cannot rise above your achievements nor fall lower than your failures. And take with you all men: For in adoration you cannot fly higher than their hopes nor humble yourself lower than their despair. And if you would know God be not therefore a solver of riddles. Rather look about you and you shall see Him playing with your children. And look into space; you shall see Him walking in the cloud, outstretching His arms in the lightning and descending in rain. You shall see Him smiling in flowers, then rising and waving His hands in trees. IF BY RUDYARD KIPLING IF you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or being hated, don't give way to hating, And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise: If you can dream - and not make dreams your master; If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools: If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breathe a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!' If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, ' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch, if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, If all men count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds' worth of distance run, Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!